Worth The Risk
by laurzz
Summary: Sam/Andy. Just a little one-shot for 2x11. 'And as the penny had flipped in the air, she realised that she'd known her answer all along.'


**A/N: Well hi there, folks! I seem to be finding myself getting more and more into Rookie Blue world nowadays! It's so exciting exploring two new characters, that's for sure. And considering I've been gunning for Sam and Andy since the first episode when it first aired back in June last year, I think it's safe to say I died with the rest of you guys on Thursday night. Wow. Just... wow guys. So this being said, I had to come up with a little something to go with the episode. I struggled initially as I'm more accustomed to writing for my other ship (Danny and Lindsay from CSI:NY... seriously if you haven't; check them out. Youtube them, whatever. You won't regret it!) So anyway, while I'm still getting used to Sam and Andy, I thought I'd post this. There may be a few more stories from 2x11. You never know ;) **

**It goes without saying that this will include some spoilers from 2x11. Not too many though actually. We're working our way up, shall we say. ****Let me know what you guys think. I hope you like it.**

**Also, a quick thank you to Maddie for her gentle nudgings over me posting something. I hope you like it, and thank you for the little push in the right direction! *hugs***

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><p>'<strong>Don't Say it's Too Late' - Westlife<strong>

_I__t doesn't take much to learn, __when the bridges that you burn__ l__eave you stranded; feeling alone__. __It doesn't take much to cry__, __when you're living in a lie__; a__nd deceiving that someone who cares__. __If I could turn back the time__, __I would put you first in my life__. __And I would risk it all for you__, __to prove my love is true__. __I'll build a wall around my heart __that would only break apart for you__. You __change the way I feel__, __so tell me what's the deal__; __Don't say__, d__on't say it's too late__._

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><p>"<em>You comin'?"<em>

"_I'll meet you back at the station."_

"_McNally! Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not linger, don't anything stupid. JD = off limits. Do you hear me?"_

"_Yes!"_

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><p>What on earth was she doing? She was jeopardising so much right now. She was risking her career, his career - was she risking Traci's? If it came down to it and they could prove that Traci had been aware of Andy's intentions then surely there would be implications for Traci too. As Andy weighed up those cons against the pros, she found herself being drawn back to him; regardless of the implications. She thrust her hands into her pockets while she circled the block, trying to collect her thoughts.<p>

Andy McNally had to be insane if she was weighing up the pros and cons of going back to him; this was all wrong and Traci had specifically told her that Sam was off limits. _Off limits_. Sam Swarek was a no go area. He was in the middle of an undercover case and she had no idea how dangerous the case was. For all she knew his new friend could have the potential to kill without batting an eyelid; and in fact, it was most likely the case. She'd seen him tonight. He looked merciless and not one to mess with. Plus, she'd already ruined one of Sam's undercover operations in the past and she couldn't allow herself to ruin another. The first time had been a rookie mistake – literally! But this time it would be far from an accident but rather a deliberate choice and decision to which she'd be left with no leg to stand on.

But she wanted that good candy, _so freaking bad. _

She leant against a nearby wall and drew in a few deep breaths, the cold air stinging her lungs as she did so. He seemed happy to see her, surprised initially, but after the shock had worn off she could tell that he was happy. She knew very little – well actually, she knew nothing - about his undercover operation, but she knew for a fact that he must be lonely. She was definitely lonely without him. He had no connections to his _other_ life. He had no way of communicating with those people that he cared for; those that he loved. Of course she wasn't saying that he loved her; God no! But... still, it had to be lonely.

'_I've been wondering why I got into this business in the first place.' _

That had to be an invitation right? Okay, well maybe not an invitation as such; but Andy knew Sam like the back of her hand and that was most definitely his way of telling her he missed her. Not to mention his eyes were apologetic for the abrupt nature of his departure. The night that she'd called him, she had spent a good half hour banging on his door before realising that she was making a fool of herself. She'd gone to sleep feeling humiliated and hurt, but the next day when he didn't turn up at work and Boyd was loitering around the Division like a bad smell, she'd managed to put two and two together. Still found herself feeling cynical though; he wouldn't just _leave. _He'd told her himself that he had a few weeks to make his decision.

It was when she'd been partnered with Oliver for that first shift that she knew he was gone. Things must have changed and he must have made his decision. She knew that he'd been constantly going back and forth between Guns and Gangs and staying at the Division. She wasn't sure what had swayed him to go for Guns and Gangs; all she knew was that he was there one minute and gone the next.

She'd never realised how much she relied on Sam before she didn't have him to lean on anymore. They worked well together and had been lucky enough to establish a relationship wherein they could converse through looks, actions and on instinct. With Oliver or Diaz she didn't have that rapport and it made each and every shift considerably harder; if anything because she was constantly reminded of the fact that Sam had gone.

But as if fate would have it, the one place she could direct them to in the area had been his very hiding place. Surely that stood for something, right? Surely that was the universe telling them that this was meant to be; regardless of their current situation. They were two halves of one whole being pulled together; right? Wrong! _No Andy! _Her inner voice screamed in protest. _The only reason you and Traci ended up there was because you deliberately went there. You remembered Sam mentioning it and instead of diving head first into the reason why you were undercover, you took the first chance you got and dragged Traci along to catch a glimpse of him. Universe? Fate? Pfft. Whatever - more like desperation! _

She scoffed at the niggling thoughts and feelings that had taken residence in the pit of her stomach. Maybe she'd made things fall into place a little quicker than fate had probably wanted it to; so what? Life was simply too short to go with the flow. She'd learnt that very lesson on her last case with Sam before he'd left. Watching and waiting for opportunities only resulted in disappointment and an unopened bottle of Champagne. And why let something so good go to waste?

They'd floundered around the idea of 'them' for _so_ long now. Yes, they'd had a few moments of weakness and made a few bad choices. When they spent so much time together, and relied on each other as much as they did, surely it could only be expected. She'd seen it first-hand that marriages outside of the Police force struggled to stay strong. Oliver worked hard at his marriage and Andy had to give him credit for it. But everyone else wasn't as lucky. Traci had failed with Leo's father, finding comfort with Jerry. Diaz had failed with his fiancée, only to get together with Gail. Emotions constantly ran high in the Division and finding solace in someone that you could trust and rely on had the power to transform the most faithful of spouses into a questioning husband. Was his wife really the person that he belonged with? How, when someone else understood him so much more, could he have anything in common with his wife? And because of those observations, Andy had an inclination that she'd been lying to herself for a long time with Luke. She'd always been looking over her shoulder at Sam and she'd find her mind wandering to Sam. She'd known from the second that she'd found the engagement ring in the safe that the ring had never really been her's; she'd just refused to admit it. And now, she was left wondering why she'd insisted on hanging onto something that wasn't right for so long.

Luke had been a sobriety factor for Andy. There had been one night where in a moment of weakness, she'd made her way across town from her place to Sam's, and had instantly fallen into his arms; letting him lead her to the bedroom where one thing had nearly led to another. Luke hadn't cared that night and Sam had. Sam had given Andy that emotional support that she'd so desperately needed. He'd understood what she had gone through that day. Luke didn't. His work started after Andy had pulled the trigger, which she understood – but she needed someone to make it okay. She needed someone to explain to her that it was okay to cry and to feel sick over taking a life. She didn't need someone discussing blood splatter and shell casings. And while it had been no excuse, she didn't regret that moment of weakness. And now with Luke out of the picture, it meant that she had no ties to someone else who relied on her. She had no one to stay faithful to.

The big question was: could she wait for Sam? Would she be okay with walking away right now and Sam being completely unaware of her presence outside of the bar? Would she be okay about not seeing Sam for a few more weeks, months... and she dreaded to even think it but years? She blew out a long, laboured breath through her lips and steeled herself as she searched for an answer. She dug deep in her empty pocket and pinched the penny that was still floating in the bottom of her coat pocket. She pulled it out and laid it in her hand for a second before flicking it in the air and catching it in her hands.

She didn't call heads or tails, because when it was in the air she'd asked herself the question: _was he really worth risking everything?_ And as the penny had flipped in the air, she realised that she'd known her answer all along.

He was. He was worth risking _everything_ for.

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><p><strong>There we go! I hope you enjoyed it. I'm always a little unsure when posting Rookie Blue stories! I'm going to stop waffling and post it before I chicken out. I'd love to know what you thought. Thanks for reading!<strong>


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